Women often wonder why men don’t want to get married. Well I wonder why women would want to get married. In fact, I wonder what would possess anyone in their right minds to get involved in the act of marriage in this day in age.
Now, I don’t want to sound like a typical male trying to keep from being “tied down” (and trust me, that’s not where I’m going with this). It’s just that marriage is not the sacred, traditional symbol of love anymore. Marriage has become a chore, an expectation, and thus, a disaster. It’s not like it used to be. We’re not really seeing too many 50 year anniversaries anymore. Most of our mother’s and father’s are single or divorced or remarried. What makes us as a generation think we know how to do it?
I probably grew up just like you. I thought I’d be married by mid-twenties and start having children. How could we not? It’s what every adult does and talks about and it’s what every TV show and movie shows us to do. There is so much societal pressure to make you think it’s the normal thing to do. There’s not enough influences out there that are telling us, “take your time, figure your life out and make sure you make good decisions.”
I don’t want to get you confused with the idea of love. I’m not, by any means, putting down the idea of falling in love and living happily ever after with someone. I’m simply talking about the act and contract of marriage. Why has this become such a necessity for couples to demonstrate their love for one another?
Marriage was originated because most ancient societies needed a secure environment for the perpetuation of the species, a system of rules to handle the granting of property rights, and the protection of bloodlines. The idea of marriage is still similar today, but the problem is the mixed signals we get from society.
Just like all the influence there is to progress through the steps of life, which includes marriage, there are influences to leave if you’re not happy. Once again, our parents are getting divorced and our TV shows and movies and radio are all telling us to leave and get divorced if you’re not happy. Divorce has become so common today that marriage almost doesn’t stand a chance.
Why would it be this way? Well, my answer is that we are being taught to make decisions on impulse. We run up our credit, buy things we cannot afford, want more than we can have, and get married before we’re ready. According to statistics, the average cost of a wedding in America can vary between $14,000 and $43,000. With 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages ending in divorce, that’s a lot of money thrown out the window. In fact, divorce is a $28 billion dollar a year industry. There are a lot of people that have a lot to lose if we were to start using our heads a little.
My advice to people, once again, is to give yourself a chance. Fortunately, I’ve put myself in situations that have allowed me to get to know myself. I believe that certain challenges that I have faced as a young man have given me more insight in regards to trusting myself and the decisions I make. Unfortunately, not all of us have taken that opportunity, but we still make these big decisions. Start making decisions based on what’s best for your future. Start enforcing logic in your solutions. Stop being a drone to this society.
You have got to know yourself and stand up for what you want, need and expect; especially if you’re going to get married. Today’s society would rather watch you fight on an episode of “Cheaters” or “Divorce Court.” You’re no more to everyone else than a slightly entertaining half hour block. We’ve got to start doing better than this.